@kuroihemlock
And honestly the fact you’re blaming her grandma is stupid the person to be blamed is her father. Erna was never her responsibility to begin with and she did her best to teach Erna about high society its just all she taught her were things of her day and never have I heard of villagers following the trends of the city lol.
@kuroihemlock no one is saying Erna is not at fault here.
But I think you’re ignoring important details
1. You can’t blame her grandparents for not wanting her out there. Her father was an abusive man reason why her mum left. So why would the grandmother expose her to an abusive father in the name of letting her join social circle in which she (grandmother) didn’t have power anymore ?
2. Erna decided to finally leave her village and learn more about society but was greater with an abusive father who didn’t care about her and wanted to sell her to an old man. Again she can’t do anything in the social circle because ofcourse she has no power
3. Bjorn heard of it and decided to buy her because of a silly bet he made . Its not ernas fault he was trying to protect royal family or whatever nonsense you wrote. He owed her the truth but didn’t. I don’t understand why you are trying to justify his actions when all he did was watch as society tried to tear down a woman who knew nothing about high society. As a husband it was his responsibility to protect her help her gain influence so she can learn to protect herself. But no it was fun to watch his wife since she looked like a defenseless rabbit that will always run to him for protection. Now that she left he’s mad because she didn’t do that.
3. Honestly erna was a good wife. The only mistake she definitely made was not to leave earlier. ITS VERY IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT SHE COULDN’T HAVE DONE ANYTHING IN HIGH SOCIETY WITH NO ONE BACKING HER ( even if you’ve got an influential husband if you do not have the backing of influential ladies in society you’ve got no power) WAS NEVER TAUGHT ANYTHING ABOUT HIGH SOVIETY EVEN AFTER MARRAIGE. BJORN DID NOTHING TO HELP HER STAND HER GROUND SINCE SHE WAS JUST HIS TROPHY WIFE. it’s just sad it had to cost her her babies life for her to realise she was a trophy wife
@kuroihemlock It’s not about lacking maturity or subscribing to misandry.
Yes, it’s obvious that Erna had some shortcomings and that Bjorn had some special obligations to the nation as crown prince.
But no amount of “maturity” can communicate away most of Bjorn’s shortcomings in the marriage.
There were several instances where he was unnecessarily cold, dismissive and neglectful. It was almost malicious and sadistic at times.
He did it on purpose sometimes just to drive the point home.
Yes, Erna wasn’t socialized well and was childish at times, but at least she understood how to treat another human being with not just whole hearted love but kindness.
It takes humility to be kind, especially
when someone doesn’t exactly deserve
it.
Yes, Bjorn eventually learned to love Erna, but he did it in selfish pride because he wasn’t willing to take the risk to be vulnerable and no wonder it didn’t hit home to Erna.
She respected him so much, while he thought of her as an amusing deer. There was an imbalance.
They both made mistakes, but he definitely held the greater share of the blame.
Since you say if Erna had been socialized well, she would be “mature”. As a crown prince, I am sure Bjorn had a lot of social experience but look how he turned out.
If Erna was really mature she wouldn’t have married him in the first place, instead of trying to fix a stubborn person like him thru communication.
They would have just been fighting, so she made the right decision not to argue with him.
Some fault lies with Erna, because she just believes what she hears and doesn’t talk about it to clear any doubts. I agree her treatment wasn’t good but she didn’t stand up for herself either. I kind of lay blame at Erna’s grandparents, her main guardians. They basically kept her away from society just because of what happened to their daughter and their advanced age. They may be okay not socializing but Erna needed friends and people in her life, she’s not an adult who can choose to stay isolated. She didn’t even go to any village celebration because she had no one to take her and her grandparents didn’t want her to end up like her mother. So Erna had no friends beyond that painter and lacked the ability to communicate her feelings beyond self-sacrificing herself and withholding her anger so others can walk all over her or ignore her. I put this on the grandparents because Wena can’t be expected to understand this, but now it caused her to create her own problems. Yes Bjorn can be blamed for a lot but I do understand that he spent years sacrificing his name all because of the stupid first wife that is mostly at fault. Also partly due to royal obligations which is not the same as normal people’s obligations, so sometimes you make sacrifices over your own interests and even others in your life. After the first marriage ended Bjorn gave up his title of Crown prince and took the fault for the marriage failing and even the blame for being neglectful father (because the first wife’s child was considered his and not illegitimate). So people saw him already as a awful person at some point you begin to believe the bad words and holding in the lies out of some royal obligations and you fall into a trap. Not shifting blame away from Bjorn but I find a lot of the vitriol against him to be from people who lack the maturity to understand both sides, or are showing their misandrist issues, that have nothing to do with the story.
If I’m not wrong in the novel it was not “a husband who doesn’t love his wife” but “a wider who doesn’t love her husband.” I’m the novel Erna left him because she thought she couldn’t love him again. And this a$$hole is so right, like yes girl couldn’t understand you after one year of marriage, just how narcissistic moron you are.
filizbtmz
He is still selfish
Vlorie
@kuroihemlock
And honestly the fact you’re blaming her grandma is stupid the person to be blamed is her father. Erna was never her responsibility to begin with and she did her best to teach Erna about high society its just all she taught her were things of her day and never have I heard of villagers following the trends of the city lol.
Vlorie
@kuroihemlock no one is saying Erna is not at fault here.
But I think you’re ignoring important details
1. You can’t blame her grandparents for not wanting her out there. Her father was an abusive man reason why her mum left. So why would the grandmother expose her to an abusive father in the name of letting her join social circle in which she (grandmother) didn’t have power anymore ?
2. Erna decided to finally leave her village and learn more about society but was greater with an abusive father who didn’t care about her and wanted to sell her to an old man. Again she can’t do anything in the social circle because ofcourse she has no power
3. Bjorn heard of it and decided to buy her because of a silly bet he made . Its not ernas fault he was trying to protect royal family or whatever nonsense you wrote. He owed her the truth but didn’t. I don’t understand why you are trying to justify his actions when all he did was watch as society tried to tear down a woman who knew nothing about high society. As a husband it was his responsibility to protect her help her gain influence so she can learn to protect herself. But no it was fun to watch his wife since she looked like a defenseless rabbit that will always run to him for protection. Now that she left he’s mad because she didn’t do that.
3. Honestly erna was a good wife. The only mistake she definitely made was not to leave earlier. ITS VERY IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT SHE COULDN’T HAVE DONE ANYTHING IN HIGH SOCIETY WITH NO ONE BACKING HER ( even if you’ve got an influential husband if you do not have the backing of influential ladies in society you’ve got no power) WAS NEVER TAUGHT ANYTHING ABOUT HIGH SOVIETY EVEN AFTER MARRAIGE. BJORN DID NOTHING TO HELP HER STAND HER GROUND SINCE SHE WAS JUST HIS TROPHY WIFE. it’s just sad it had to cost her her babies life for her to realise she was a trophy wife
Kikaykim
*discussions. Argh!
Kikaykim
Love the discussion here.
Elijah7
@kuroihemlock It’s not about lacking maturity or subscribing to misandry.
Yes, it’s obvious that Erna had some shortcomings and that Bjorn had some special obligations to the nation as crown prince.
But no amount of “maturity” can communicate away most of Bjorn’s shortcomings in the marriage.
There were several instances where he was unnecessarily cold, dismissive and neglectful. It was almost malicious and sadistic at times.
He did it on purpose sometimes just to drive the point home.
Yes, Erna wasn’t socialized well and was childish at times, but at least she understood how to treat another human being with not just whole hearted love but kindness.
It takes humility to be kind, especially
when someone doesn’t exactly deserve
it.
Yes, Bjorn eventually learned to love Erna, but he did it in selfish pride because he wasn’t willing to take the risk to be vulnerable and no wonder it didn’t hit home to Erna.
She respected him so much, while he thought of her as an amusing deer. There was an imbalance.
They both made mistakes, but he definitely held the greater share of the blame.
Since you say if Erna had been socialized well, she would be “mature”. As a crown prince, I am sure Bjorn had a lot of social experience but look how he turned out.
If Erna was really mature she wouldn’t have married him in the first place, instead of trying to fix a stubborn person like him thru communication.
They would have just been fighting, so she made the right decision not to argue with him.
kuroihemlock
Some fault lies with Erna, because she just believes what she hears and doesn’t talk about it to clear any doubts. I agree her treatment wasn’t good but she didn’t stand up for herself either. I kind of lay blame at Erna’s grandparents, her main guardians. They basically kept her away from society just because of what happened to their daughter and their advanced age. They may be okay not socializing but Erna needed friends and people in her life, she’s not an adult who can choose to stay isolated. She didn’t even go to any village celebration because she had no one to take her and her grandparents didn’t want her to end up like her mother. So Erna had no friends beyond that painter and lacked the ability to communicate her feelings beyond self-sacrificing herself and withholding her anger so others can walk all over her or ignore her. I put this on the grandparents because Wena can’t be expected to understand this, but now it caused her to create her own problems. Yes Bjorn can be blamed for a lot but I do understand that he spent years sacrificing his name all because of the stupid first wife that is mostly at fault. Also partly due to royal obligations which is not the same as normal people’s obligations, so sometimes you make sacrifices over your own interests and even others in your life. After the first marriage ended Bjorn gave up his title of Crown prince and took the fault for the marriage failing and even the blame for being neglectful father (because the first wife’s child was considered his and not illegitimate). So people saw him already as a awful person at some point you begin to believe the bad words and holding in the lies out of some royal obligations and you fall into a trap. Not shifting blame away from Bjorn but I find a lot of the vitriol against him to be from people who lack the maturity to understand both sides, or are showing their misandrist issues, that have nothing to do with the story.
Elié
I wonder how he is going to make her love him once again, he is acting in such a pathetical way 😭
Ramiamitu
If I’m not wrong in the novel it was not “a husband who doesn’t love his wife” but “a wider who doesn’t love her husband.” I’m the novel Erna left him because she thought she couldn’t love him again. And this a$$hole is so right, like yes girl couldn’t understand you after one year of marriage, just how narcissistic moron you are.
Pretty Art
Bet Bros gonna come begging